Halloween is almost here! I was looking for something fun to #PowerRank. I’ve done candy before (sorta) and Jack o’ Lanterns. Sexy Costumes will come next week. So why not fun lawn decorations? Let’s go!
12. The QuOIR Boys
This is one of those ones that is funny when you first see it, but then gets lamer and lamer every time you drive by the house. This is Good Morning America funny.
The old name change didn’t work for #Nick’s truly struggling team. Putting up the best score in a while, #Nick got run over by Tractorcito (143 yds and 3TDs for 42 points).
11. TB12 of Pink Football
Butts on the other hand? They are always funny. Always.
Brendo’s team is looking a bit like a butt, at this point. He went from good to fine to Delaware to unlucky to not good??
10. Return of the Mac
Oh look! A zoom call. How quaint. Can Zoom stop being a thing? My parents fucking love Zoom. They have Zoom calls with their friends. They have Zoom calls with their family. They want to have Zoom calls with me. Why?! I’m on fucking conference calls all day! So much so that I set up a bookshelf behind me so I look like Adam Schefter calling into SportsCenter. I’m sorry, the last thing I want to do after a day of Zooming with coworkers and customers, is spend the 90 minutes of free time I have talking through my laptop to someone I live three quarters of a mile down the road from.
9. I draft drunk
This meme is circling the drain. This might be last time I enjoy it.
8. Bath Salts and Celery
This is pretty awesome, but it loses points for not being homemade. #PowerRanks looks for originality, not blowup decorations you can buy at Walmart. That said, I really enjoy this.
Speaking of blowup, Buckets blew out Woody by 50 points to pick up his 2nd straight win.
7. Coffin Flops
I saw a version of this that was literally just a red balloon over a drain. And while I respect the “minimum effort, maximum output” this one is juuuuust a bit better.
My 3 week winning streak ended this week when I lost to JeffWho by 2.5 points. I needed 7 from my Tight End on Monday night and he broke his hand instead.
6. RODEWAY INN
Man, I wish I was this creative or had the desire to put in this much effort to decorating my house or…. liked Halloween this much?
It’s a shame. A few years back, I would’ve spent 3 hours photoshopping these decorations onto the front of the RODEWAY INN. Sad.
Want some scary, Halloween RODEWAY INN content?
5. Tua Lipa
If your bar doesn’t dress itself up as Moe’s Tavern, is it even that good of a bar? This. Is. Awesome.
Timmy’s riding high this week because he didn’t suck. Hopefully I kick his ass this week. If I don’t? Whatevs.
3. The Hungry Heifer
This is sick and all, but what do you do with a giant fucking pirate ship 11 months out of the year?!?
Uh oh! PWood has now lost 2 in a row. But he’s still got close to 1000 points 6 weeks into the SZN. He’ll be fine.
2. Beer Gut Method
Same here. I figure this person just leaves this dragon on their garage roof year round. Where do you store a giant, 20-foot fucking dragon? Maybe they just put a Santa hat on it in a month.
1. Ron Swanson
This is so good, I’ve spent the past 20 minutes trying to figure out how I can do it for my house.
“Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I’ve won an award.”
Survivor Update: JD got an ❌ last week by not making a pick. But now he has 27 teams to choose from moving forward, while the rest of us have only 26. [Insert thinking guy meme]
Times Up! Denver (+6) is at Cleveland and everyone on the Browns is dead. Just a word of warning this week, the byes are BRUTAL. The Cowboys, Bills, Chargers, Steelers, Jags and Vikings are all on bye this week. This is what my sidepiece league lineup looks like right now:
Ooof! This is Trust Tree Week. Go ahead and start Zack Wilson. No judgements.